User Profile

Ok... at first this section was nothing much.. just a few short sentences.. well.. since you asked.. sit down, relax, pop some popcorn, and I will take you through the maze that is yours truly..
First and foremost.. I was born in England, Suffolk to be exact, into a family with a brother *9yrs older then me* and a sister *6yrs older then me* and two parents.. anywho.. you know how that say birth control is not 100% but more like 99.9% safe? well I am part of the .1%, I was not planned.. nor do I think I was wanted.. but still I was there.. and we lived in england for about 3 years after my birth before moving back to the states to the lovely town of Panama City Florida.. I have to admit.. then when I was living there I loved in.. being in middle school with people you were in preschool with was awesome.. but then summer before 8th grade we hoped up and moved to Georgia..
Hold on.. I am getting before myself.. let me tell you what I was like between the age of 5-13.. when I was a kid.. I was spoiled sure.. got pretty much everything I wanted but I was also curious about everything, as I got older I continued said curiousity and developed more character and badness.. in 6th grade I became a tomboy.. skateboards, yoyos, bikes you name it.. baggy jeans. long shirts, it was horrible.. 7th and 8th grade I was still in search of myself.. all I knew was that I was a poet, and I loved to sing.. and I had bouts of depression.
Highschool.. I hated highschool.. I was still in search of me.. and steadily getting more depressed with each passing day though no one knew it, this is where I mastered the art of smiling and joking in spite of what pain I felt.. it was in highschool that I realized how unlike normal highschoolers I was.. the black kids didn't like me cause I was proper, and I had white friends.. I guess they thought I was 'acting white' whatever that means.. I mean just because I can paste together a proper sentence and don't use slang doesn't mean anything but whatever.. I found people like me who don't care about race or anything and we got close.. then there was Ryan and Candice.. a grade below me and alot smarter and wiser.. they looked after me.. Don't know what I would've done without them keeping me grounded my 11th grade year.. and part of my 10th too I think.. sadly all of those years blend together, and I started wearing less color, and got the title Emo.. oh the joy.. not.. anywho..
I started talking to this guy mid senior year ish.. and things were good.. we talked on and off for a year, then towards the end of that last summer he broke my heart.. haven't spoken since.. and there ladies and gents is the end of my belief in love.. gone totally.. OH.. rewind again.. it was in highschool when I began to see more and more how really unwanted I was in my family.. it was then when I locked myself in my room more, wrote more, cried more.. and now.. I am an emotional wreck.. I cry about alot.. and get mad about alot.. and if I am truely happy it is an odd thing..
I guess there is more I should say here.. now that I am in college and living my life.. but the thing is.. I am just as mixed up now than I was back then.. so I don't know.. maybe I am more mixed up.. in fact I think it is safe to say that I am.. I have turned classically emo, down to the cliche emo habits.. far from healthy I know.. and I am trying to break them.. so far so good.. about a month or two.. nearly since I broke.. that has to count for something right??

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